I Write Like…

Back in 2012, in the days of my not-so-distant infancy, I happened upon a website called I Write Like that “analyzed” writing and determined which famous author it most closely resembled. Obviously, being an exceptional and exquisite writer of immeasurable intellect and culture, I decided to analyze something of my own, perfunctorily written for this most momentous of occasions. It went thusly:

I am a heavy hippopotamus basking in the afterglow of a raunchy orgy. Oh how gloriously satisfied I feel, how deeply in love I now am. With whom, I cannot say for there were far too many other revelers present. I suppose the heifer with the great behind was my favorite, but I cannot truthfully say. All in all it was a great spectacle that I am now entranced with; the mass of hard bodies frothing at their orifices with the fecundity of a spring morning. I will return to the memory of that wonderful time when I am seeking refuge from the assaults of reality.

Well if I dare say so myself… what glorious writing! Never had such perfection been achieved in the literary arts, nor since! Writing this beautiful could only come from the mind of a genius, a pained creative soul whose only means of escape was through the meticulous interweaving of language and imagery. This was truly a masterpiece for the ages, a work to be remembered and revered by all who came after.

Yet despite all of this you know what that damned website told me? That I wrote like H. G. Wells.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Passenger

For the Intermittent Writer

333sound

Short books about albums. Published by Bloomsbury.

The Wink

This Week in Kink

Zoë Tersche

Freelance writer focusing on internet freedoms and surveillance along with sexuality and gender in media and tech.

%d bloggers like this: