2013 JC van Staden Malbec

From the vintner:

Nothing. There is nothing on the label.

The (only available) truth:

This sumptuous, splendid, magnificent, heavenly, delightful wine came courtesy of NakedWines.com. For just $40 a month, you can buy discounted wines to your heart’s content. And rest assured, all of their discounted wines are sublime. (Please note: NakedWines.com has no idea I’m writing this.)

Despite this wine not being available on store shelves (presumably), I suppose it’s only fair to give it its due. Therefore, let’s discuss the label: I could have made a more interesting label. On to the next point.

The tongue is watery, which under normal circumstances would be unacceptable. But if we consider how ancient Greeks, recognizing the debilitating effects of full-strength alcohol, would routinely water down their wine in order to prolong their scholarly and intellectual discussions, then perhaps we will come to appreciate this current wine for what it is.

(As a side note, contrast this ancient practice with the modern practice of watering down alcoholic drinks to maximize profits. This practice of diluting an alcoholic beverage seems paradoxical considering that modern establishments are designed specifically for avoiding intellectual stimulation. One would therefore believe that such an establishment would shun dilution of alcoholic beverages, as doing so would promote critical thinking and discussion.)

The wine’s consistency is watery. Oh, who am I kidding. This isn’t wine; this is water.

Out of a score of “Will Buy Again” (WBA) or “Won’t Buy Again” (WBA), this wine definitely earns a WBA.



2013 Agua de Piedra Malbec

From the vintner:

Agua de Piedra
Argentina, I.P. Mendoza

The spaniards as early as the 16th century followed by the Jesuits and more recently European immigrants notably Italians, were all fascinated by the beauty of the country. The result is a combination of warmth, style, and tradition. Situated at the foothills of the Andes and fed by the purest water from melted snow, the vineyards produce grapes of outstanding quality. Made to enjoy, this wine with spiced red plum flavors combined with this silky texture is ideal for meat or pasta dishes.

The truth:

Water of Grape
Argentina, Argentina

Agua de Piedra draws attention to itself by its simple yet elegant label design. At the top is an oval sticker with the words “Agua de Piedra” prominently displayed above the image of a rock and some words. Beneath that is a rectangular, aged white, matte, textured label. It very simply and beautifully pronounces its vintage.

Nose is woody, aged, and wonderful. I prefer Malbec. There is a hint of blood dripping from freshly killed game. I love Malbec. Mossy earth ever so slightly accents the afore mentioned qualities. I love Malbec.

Tongue is floaty and buoyant. It sits atop your tongue like a fairy dancing on a finger. The alcohol is ever so not present, hinting at the mischief it might impose upon you. I love Malbec. The wine evaporates in your mouth like a good steak or fillet o’fish, specifically tuna or salmon. Oh it’s quite delectable. (What am I referring to here?)

The wine’s consistency is that of blood in a mild anti-coagulant. It is not possible to see through the wine.

The aftertaste is that of young wood just barely entering its aging process. I love Malbec. It’s smokey like a kiss beside a campfire.

Out of a score of “Will Buy Again” (WBA) or “Won’t Buy Again” (WBA), this wine earns a WBA.




For the Intermittent Writer


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